Q: In an online marriage, how is the offer and acceptance (ijab wa qabul) properly done, and what are the requirements for witnesses?
A: In an online marriage, the ijab (offer) and qabul (acceptance) must take place in the same live session (majlis al-‘aqd). The wali (e.g., the father) must say directly via live voice or video:
“I give you my daughter in marriage according to the Book of Allah, the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, and according to the agreed-upon dowry.”
The groom must then respond:
“I accept to marry your daughter according to the Book of Allah, the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, and the terms we agreed upon.”
This must be live—not pre-recorded. As long as two witnesses are present and hear this exchange, the marriage is valid. Importantly, the witnesses can be from either side or even unrelated strangers. It is not a requirement to have one witness from the bride’s side and another from the groom’s side. Any two trustworthy Muslim witnesses suffice.
Q: What if the wali (father) is in a place with no stable internet connection—can the marriage still be done?
A: If live video is not possible due to technical limitations (e.g., poor internet), then the wali may delegate his authority through a wakālah (proxy). He may do this via a written message (email or text) or direct phone call, clearly stating:
“I, the father of [bride’s name], authorize [imam’s name] to act as wali on my behalf and conduct the nikah for my daughter.”
Once the imam receives and verifies this authorization, he becomes the acting wali and may proceed to conduct the marriage. This method is valid and recognized in Islamic law.
Q: Can a marriage be done through a recorded message or separate sessions?
A: No. A recorded message is not valid for the marriage contract. The ijab and qabul must be conducted in the same session, live and immediate. If this is not possible, the only alternative is to appoint a wakil (representative) with explicit permission to act on the wali’s behalf.
Q: Can a wali delegate someone else to perform a marriage on his behalf in a town with no masjid or imam?
A: Yes, the wali can delegate authority (wakālah) to another trusted person if he is not physically present. In small towns or isolated areas without a masjid or imam, it is permissible for a reputable elder of the local Muslim community to act as a wakil (representative) for the bride’s wali. This elder should be known for his upright character and sound Islamic understanding.
The wali must explicitly give permission to that individual—either in writing, verbally, or through any reliable means of communication. Once authorized, the wakil can conduct the marriage on behalf of the wali.
Q: Is it required for a shaykh or imam to officiate an Islamic marriage?
A: No, it is not a requirement in any of the four madhāhib for a shaykh or imam to officiate a marriage. The presence of an imam is not a condition for the validity of a nikah. As long as the Islamic conditions are fulfilled—including:
- Consent of the bride and her wali,
- Offer and acceptance (ijab wa qabul) in the same session,
- Presence of two Muslim witnesses,
- Agreement on the dowry (mahr)—
then the marriage is valid, even if conducted by non-clergy Muslims.
The role of the imam in many contemporary settings is primarily administrative, such as filling out the civil marriage license due to holding a clergy license. The imam may also facilitate the nikah session by guiding the process, but his involvement is not required for Islamic validity.
Q: Does the imam ‘bless’ the marriage in Islam, similar to religious clergy in other faiths?
A: No. In Islam, there is no concept of an imam blessing the marriage in the way that exists in some other religious traditions. The marriage becomes valid when all the Islamic legal conditions are fulfilled—not because the imam utters a special blessing or conducts a ceremonial rite. The imam may recite duʿā’ or offer reminders, but the marriage’s validity is based on shariah requirements, not clerical authority.
Q: Does a wali (guardian) need the bride’s permission before giving her away in marriage?
A: Yes, it is obligatory for the wali to obtain the bride’s clear and explicit permission before conducting her marriage. This is based on the authentic hadith of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ:
“A previously married woman has more right to her person than her guardian, and a virgin must be asked for permission…” (Sahih Muslim)
Even though cultural practices in some communities historically allowed guardians to marry off daughters without their input, this is not allowed in Islam. A woman cannot be married without her consent. In today’s context, particularly in Western societies, this is typically well-understood and expected. However, the Islamic principle remains the same across time and place: the wali must have the bride’s permission.
Q: In situations where the bride is in one country and her wali is overseas, how is marriage consent handled?
A: The same principles apply. The wali must:
- Confirm the bride’s permission,
- Communicate directly (through live means or written delegation),
- Either perform the marriage himself (remotely or in person), or appoint a wakīl (representative) to act on his behalf.
Whether the bride and wali are in the same country or not, the requirement of her consent is not waived.
Q: What is the legal marriage age in Islamic and civil law, and how does that affect nikah?
A: Islamically, marriage is permitted once a person reaches physical and mental maturity (bulūgh) and is legally eligible under local law, especially in non-Muslim countries. For example:
- In many Muslim countries (e.g., Egypt, Jordan), the legal age for marriage is 16, with parental or guardian consent.
- In places like Texas (USA), the minimum legal age is also 16, with parental consent.
However, Islamic tradition places high emphasis on maturity, informed decision-making, and guardianship involvement to prevent harm. Historically, harmful cultural practices—like marrying off young girls without proper understanding—led to injustice. Modern legal standards in many countries aim to protect young women from such harm, which is consistent with the Islamic principle of avoiding harm (darar).
Q: When does a woman become entitled to receive her full dowry (mahr)?
A: A woman becomes entitled to her full dowry upon consummation of the marriage. This is established in Islamic law (fiqh).
The mahr becomes an obligation (debt) on the husband once the marriage is consummated. If the couple separates due to divorce or death after consummation, the full dowry must still be paid.
Q: What if the mahr is delayed (mu’akhkhar) and not paid immediately?
A: A delayed mahr (mu’akhkhar) is still a financial debt owed by the husband. It is not symbolic or optional. Many grooms assume they don’t have to pay it, especially if the wife later requests a divorce—but this is a serious misunderstanding.
- If a divorce happens and the wife initiates khulʿ (divorce in exchange for compensation), she may agree to waive the delayed mahr.
- If the husband dies before paying it, the mahr is treated as a debt on his estate and must be paid before distributing inheritance.
Delaying the mahr as a form of “protection” for the bride is not reliable, as many cases end with the woman waiving it under emotional or social pressure.
Q: Is it recommended to set a high dowry to secure the bride’s future?
A: Islam does not encourage placing heavy financial burdens on the groom. The Prophet ﷺ emphasized choosing a husband based on religion (dīn) and character (akhlāq), not wealth or social status. He said:
“If a man whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you (seeking marriage), then marry him.”
(Tirmidhi)
Asking for a high dowry in hopes of securing the bride’s future often leads to disputes and unpaid debts. Trust in Allah, and prioritize deen and character over financial arrangements.
Q: Is the mahr due before inheritance is distributed if the husband dies?
A: Yes. If the husband dies and he had not paid the dowry, it is treated as a debt. Like all debts, it must be paid before any inheritance is divided among his heirs. The wife’s right to her mahr takes precedence over the inheritance shares.
Q: What are the consequences of setting a very high mahr (dowry) like $100,000 or $50,000?
A: Setting an extremely high mahr can cause major financial and relational problems.
Even if the bride and groom are struggling financially, sometimes families insist on large mahrs—thinking it will protect the bride. However, the mahr becomes a debt upon the husband, due immediately upon consummation of marriage or, at the latest, after death or divorce.
If the husband were to die, and his total wealth is only $100,000, the entire estate would first be used to pay off the mahr, before any inheritance distribution to other heirs. This could leave the rest of the family with nothing.
Islam teaches balance and ease in setting the mahr.
Q: What did the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ say about mahr and barakah (blessing)?
A: The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“The marriage that has the most blessing is the one with the least burden (i.e., the least mahr).”
(Narrated by Ahmad and others)
He encouraged simplicity. When Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه married Fatimah رضي الله عنها, her mahr was a simple old shield. Its value was minimal—barely worth a few dollars by today’s standards.
This shows that barakah (blessing) in marriage comes through simplicity, deen, and character, not high financial demands.
Q: Should a woman always ask for a minimal mahr?
A: Not necessarily. While modesty in mahr is recommended, context matters.
- In cases where the bride has children or particular responsibilities, it is wise and Islamically sound to consider her financial protection.
- Islam emphasizes that the husband must be capable of fully supporting his wife at the level she was accustomed to in her parents’ home.
The wife is not obligated to work outside the home; her Islamic duty revolves around raising children and maintaining the home if there are children involved.
Thus, while avoiding extravagance, each situation must be balanced wisely without going to extremes—neither demanding unreasonably high mahrs nor neglecting the rights and needs of the woman.
Q: If a husband wants to marry a second wife and the first wife cannot emotionally tolerate it, does she have the right to ask for divorce?
A: Yes, a wife has the right to request a divorce if she believes she cannot continue the marriage without harm to herself—physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Islam does not force a woman to remain in a marriage if she is harmed. This includes:
- Physical harm (e.g., abuse),
- Severe mental or emotional distress,
- Inability to maintain basic marital peace due to situations like polygamy, if it causes unbearable hardship.
Q: If a woman is physically harmed in marriage, does she have the right to her full dowry if divorced?
A: Yes. If the wife is subjected to physical harm, she may request divorce and retain her full dowry (mahr)—both the prompt and deferred parts.
This falls under ṭalāq li al-ḍarar (divorce due to harm), a valid ground in Islamic law. In such cases, she is entitled to:
- Her immediate mahr, if not already paid,
- Her delayed mahr (mu’akhkhar),
- And may seek legal or civil protection if needed.
Q: What if the harm is emotional or psychological, but not visibly provable—can she still ask for divorce?
A: Yes, a woman may ask for divorce due to emotional or psychological strain, but if the harm is not clearly established, she may not be entitled to the full mahr.
In such cases, the husband may ask her to return the mahr. This form of separation is known as khulʿ, where the wife initiates divorce and returns the dowry or part of it.
Q: What is the proof for a woman waiving her mahr in return for divorce (khulʿ)?
A: The incident of the wife of Thabit ibn Qays is a well-known example. She came to the Prophet ﷺ and said she could no longer live with her husband—not due to his character, but simply out of inability to continue the marriage.
The Prophet ﷺ asked if she was willing to return the garden (a valuable gift) her husband had given her as mahr. She agreed, and the Prophet ﷺ ordered him to accept it and divorce her.
This establishes the permissibility and process of khulʿ when the harm is subjective or emotional, and not a case of abuse or mistreatment.
Final Note:
Each case must be handled individually and with care. Islamic law respects the emotional and physical well-being of both spouses. If there is clear harm (ḍarar), the wife may seek divorce with her full rights. If the harm is subjective and not established, the route of khulʿ may be appropriate, where mutual terms are agreed upon.