1. Rules During Revocable Divorce (‘Iddah Period)
Q: My husband has divorced me for the second time, but we are still living in the same house with our children. What are the limitations in this situation? Are there things we must refrain from?
A:
If a husband divorces his wife for the first or second time, this is considered a revocable divorce (ṭalāq rajʿī). During the waiting period (ʿiddah), the wife remains in the marital home and is still considered his wife. There are no restrictions on interaction between them during this time.
If the couple decides to reconcile within the ʿiddah, the husband may take his wife back without the need for a new marriage contract, witnesses, or returning to the masjid. Simply expressing the intention to resume the marriage—such as saying, “Let’s start again”—is sufficient.
Intimacy during this period also constitutes taking her back (according to the majority of the Mathahab)
Q: After my husband divorced me for the second time, he told me to leave the house. Is this allowed in Islam?
A:
No, it is not permissible for the husband to force his wife to leave the house after a revocable divorce (ṭalāq rajʿī) during the ʿiddah (waiting period). Nor is he allowed to leave himself.
The wife must remain in the marital home during this time, as reconciliation is still possible. Allah has commanded that women not be expelled from their homes, nor should they leave unless there is a clear reason like committing an open act of immorality.
Q: After a revocable divorce, is a woman allowed to leave the house during her ʿiddah for errands like buying groceries or attending the masjid?
A:
Yes, during the ʿiddah of a revocable divorce, a woman may continue her normal daily activities such as buying groceries, attending necessary appointments, and visiting the masjid for prayers or religious learning, with her husband’s knowledge.
However, she should refrain from attending celebrations such as weddings or engaging in activities that express joy during this period.
2. Conditional Divorce (ṭalāq muʿallaq)
Q: My husband told me, “If that friend visits our house again, you are divorced.” What is the ruling on this type of conditional divorce?
A:
In traditional Islamic jurisprudence according to the four major schools (Hanafi, Shafi’i, Maliki, and Hanbali), a conditional divorce (ṭalāq muʿallaq) is valid if the condition is fulfilled.
If the specified condition occurs, the divorce is effective automatically.
In this case, if the friend visits and the condition is met, it would be counted as a divorce.
However, later scholars such as Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn al-Qayyim, and many modern fatwa councils (including al-Azhar in certain cases), advise questioning the husband’s intention:
- If he truly intended divorce, the divorce occurs.
- If he intended only to warn or prevent, it may not count as a divorce — but this is a minority opinion adopted to reduce hardship in the community.
Regardless, using divorce as a tool for threats or warnings is highly discouraged and can lead to serious consequences. Couples should seek counseling and avoid using divorce lightly.
Q: If the husband forgets about making the conditional divorce statement, how is it treated?
A:
According to Ibn ʿĀbidīn from the Hanafi school:
- If the husband made a conditional divorce statement (e.g., “If you leave the house, you are divorced”) but later forgot, it is understood that the condition applies only on the same day it was stated.
- If the wife did not violate the condition that day, no divorce occurs.
To further remove any doubt, it is recommended to perform kaffārat yameen (expiation for an oath) by either:
- Feeding ten needy people, or
- Fasting three consecutive days.
This expiation helps ensure one is free from scholarly disagreements over the matter.
Q: If a husband makes a conditional divorce statement but does not specify a time, what happens if the wife later fulfills that condition?
A:
If a husband says something like “You are divorced if you do such-and-such” without specifying a time limit (such as “today” or “this week”), then:
- If the wife fulfills that condition at any time in the future, the divorce becomes effective.
- If no specific timeframe is given, it remains open-ended, and once the condition is fulfilled, divorce is binding.
Note:
It is not an appropriate way to handle marital disputes and should be avoided.
3. Causes and Solutions for Marital Problems
Q: What are the common causes for the rising number of divorces in our communities, and what can be done to address them?
A:
One of the major causes of rising divorce rates is a lack of patience, understanding, and mercy between spouses.
Many separations occur without significant justification, stemming from a low tolerance for mistakes or disagreements.
Both husbands and wives should work on developing patience, compassion, and mutual understanding to build a stable and lasting marriage.
Q: What advice is given to couples experiencing marital issues after a divorce has taken place?
A:
It is highly recommended for couples facing marital difficulties to seek marriage counseling.
- Seeking help to resolve conflicts is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a wise step toward healing and improvement.
- Just as one visits a doctor when physically ill, it is natural and commendable to seek assistance for marital problems.
It is important to choose someone:
- Knowledgeable, objective, and neutral,
- Someone who will not take sides but help both parties recognize and correct mistakes.
Seeking advice from family members often leads to biased judgments and can escalate the conflict.
Therefore, professional or scholarly counseling is the best approach.
Q: When seeking marriage counseling, is it important to choose a Muslim counselor?
A:
Yes, it is very important to seek marriage counseling from a qualified Muslim counselor who:
- Understands the rulings of Islam (halal, haram, sunnah, disliked, recommended).
- Recognizes that Islam is a complete way of life, not limited to worship.
A counselor unaware of Islamic teachings might advise actions that contradict the Qur’an and Sunnah, leading to greater harm.
Thus, it is crucial to choose a counselor knowledgeable about Islamic law and ethics.
Q: Why is it important to seek counseling from a Muslim rather than a non-Muslim counselor?
A:
It is important because non-Muslim therapists may advise:
- Severing family ties,
- Abandoning marital obligations,
- Or taking actions contradictory to Islamic values.
A Muslim counselor, knowledgeable in fiqh and Islamic principles, will advise according to the Qur’an and Sunnah, ensuring solutions that are halal and protect the sanctity of marriage.
Q: Can scholars always provide solutions for marital problems beyond just issuing fatwas?
A:
No.
Islamic scholars are responsible for giving rulings on what is halal and haram.
However, managing personal behaviors, emotional problems, and psychological issues in marriage falls under counseling and therapy, which are separate fields.
Thus, seeking professional, Islamic counseling is highly recommended for these issues.