Why Do Some Hadith About Women Sound Harsh? Understanding Their Language and Wisdom
Question
Salam aleykom,
I wanted to understand the wisdom behind Ahadiths. I often read Hadith saying “Woman is cursed by angels if she refuses intimacy”, “Women are deficient in intellect/religion” or “she wont be able to smell odour of Jannah”. I understand the context behind each. But why are they worded so harshly when it comes to women? There are no hadiths against only men where its language is as bad as these. If there are hadiths against men, it would rather be worded as “it is not permissable” or something along the lines. Not cursed by angels. Not not smelling fragrance of Jannah. And so on.
Baraku allah feekum
Answer
Alhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillah, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajmain.
1. The Shari Context
The Prophet ﷺ was sent as a mercy to mankind, and his speech must be understood as a whole, not through isolated narrations.
Allah says:
“And We have not sent you except as a mercy to the worlds.”
Surat al Anbiya 21:107
And Allah says regarding the Prophet ﷺ:
“Indeed, you are upon tremendous character.”
Surat al Qalam 68:4
The Prophet ﷺ consistently commanded good treatment toward women:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.”
Sahih al Tirmidhi
And he ﷺ said:
“I advise you to treat women well.”
Sahih al Bukhari, Sahih Muslim
So any hadith that sounds severe must be understood alongside the Prophet’s overall mercy, justice, and teaching style.
2. Scholarly Discussion
The scholars explain that the Prophet ﷺ sometimes used strong wording as a form of:
- Warning (tahdhir)
- Moral emphasis
- Addressing a common social issue
- Protecting important rights
This style was not exclusive to women.
There are also severe narrations directed specifically toward men, for example:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever cheats us is not from us.”
Sahih Muslim
And he ﷺ said:
“A man who drags his garment out of arrogance, Allah will not look at him on the Day of Judgment.”
Sahih al Bukhari, Sahih Muslim
And:
“Three people Allah will not speak to, nor look at…”
including the arrogant and oppressive person
Sahih Muslim
And regarding ظلم:
“Oppression will be darknesses on the Day of Judgment.”
Sahih al Bukhari, Sahih Muslim
And regarding neglecting family responsibilities:
“It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects those whom he is responsible to support.”
Sunan Abu Dawud
So severe language exists for both men and women when major rights are violated.
3. Why Some Narrations About Women Feel More Emotional
Your observation is understandable. Part of this feeling comes from the type of issues being discussed.
Many hadith directed toward women revolve around:
- Marriage
- Emotional relationships
- Family stability
So the wording naturally feels more emotionally charged.
For example:
- Refusing intimacy without valid reason affects:
- Emotional wellbeing
- Marriage stability
- Protection from temptation
So the warning is strong because the right itself is important.
Likewise, warnings about tabarruj or betrayal are tied to preserving:
- Family structure
- Trust
- Social morality
This does not mean women are “worse,” but that the Prophet ﷺ was addressing issues that had serious consequences within family life.
4. “Deficient in Intellect and Religion”
The scholars repeatedly clarified:
- This is not an insult to women’s worth or intelligence
- “Deficiency in religion” refers to:
- Exemption from prayer and fasting during menstruation
- “Deficiency in intellect” refers to:
- Specific legal testimony contexts at that time
It was never understood by the scholars as meaning women are less valuable, less spiritual, or incapable of knowledge.
In fact:
- Some of the greatest scholars of Islam learned from women
- Aisha رضي الله عنها was among the greatest jurists of the Ummah
5. Important Perspective
One important point is often missed:
The Prophet ﷺ spoke differently to different groups depending on what they needed spiritually.
For example:
- Men are repeatedly warned about:
- Arrogance
- ظلم
- Abuse of authority
- Neglecting family
- Sexual immorality
- Failing financial duties
And these warnings are extremely severe as well.
The issue is often not the severity itself, but that modern readers are more emotionally affected by narrations related to women and relationships.
6. Relevant Usul Principle
الكلام يحمل على مقصوده وسياقه
Speech is understood according to its intended meaning and context
This principle is extremely important with hadith. A narration is not understood by isolated wording alone, but by:
- Its context
- Its purpose
- The broader teachings of Islam
- The explanations of the scholars
Without this, texts can appear harsher than they were intended.
Final Ruling
The strong wording found in some hadith about women is not meant to degrade women, but to emphasize serious moral and family-related matters. Similar severe warnings also exist for men in other areas. These narrations must be understood through the broader context of the Prophet’s mercy, justice, and overall teachings, not as isolated statements detached from their purpose and explanation.
And Allah knows best.