Am I Sinful for Intrusive Doubts and Distractions After Mocking Others, and How Do I Return My Heart to Allah?
Question
I used to follow a lot of atheists and Christians and listen to their talk about Islam. I used to mock their ignorance and did not care. Now these words come to my mind automatically when I pray or read the Qur’an. I started to feel that my heart is far from God and Islam, and my prayers feel like just movements. Would God punish me for this? How can I return my heart to God again?
Answer
Alhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillah, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajmain.
What you are experiencing is painful, but it is also well known in the Sunnah, recognized by the scholars, and not a sign of disbelief nor abandonment by Allah. In fact, the very fear you feel is itself a sign of iman.
1. The Shar‘i Context
Islam distinguishes between:
- Thoughts that occur without choice
- Thoughts that are welcomed, believed, or acted upon
Allah does not hold a servant accountable for involuntary thoughts.
Allah says:
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.”
Surat al Baqarah 2:286
And the Prophet said:
“Indeed Allah has pardoned my ummah for what their souls whisper to them, so long as they do not speak of it or act upon it.”
Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim
Intrusive thoughts during prayer or Qur’an recitation are not sins, even when they are disturbing or blasphemous in nature, as long as you reject them.
2. Why These Thoughts Appear Now
What you are experiencing is known as waswasa, intrusive whispering.
The companions themselves came to the Prophet and said:
“We find thoughts in ourselves that are too terrible to speak of.”
He replied:
“That is clear faith.”
Sahih Muslim
Why? Because:
- The heart hates these thoughts
- The believer fears their presence
- Shaytan only attacks a heart that still has iman
Your past exposure to hostile arguments planted mental echoes, not beliefs. When you stand to pray, Shaytan brings them back precisely because prayer is when the heart is closest to Allah.
3. Are You Being Punished?
No.
Feeling distant, dry, or distracted is not punishment. It is a test and purification, and sometimes a mercy meant to return the servant to humility and dependence on Allah.
Allah says:
“So remember Me; I will remember you.”
Surat al Baqarah 2:152
Distance is not measured by feelings, but by turning back despite difficulty.
4. Your Prayer Being ‘Just Movements’
This is a complaint many righteous people made about themselves.
The Prophet said:
“A person may finish his prayer and nothing is written for him except a tenth of it, or a ninth, or an eighth…”
Reported in the Sunnah collections
Prayer has levels, not an on or off switch. A distracted prayer is still a prayer, still an act of obedience, still a rope between you and Allah.
Do not abandon prayer because it feels empty. That is exactly what Shaytan wants.
5. How to Return the Heart to Allah
Return does not happen through force. It happens through persistence, humility, and honesty.
- Continue praying even when it feels dry
- Say before prayer: “O Allah, I seek refuge in You from Shaytan”
- When a thought comes, do not argue with it and do not analyze it. Let it pass
- Read Qur’an even when your heart feels heavy
Allah says:
“And those who strive for Us, We will surely guide them to Our ways.”
Surat al Ankabut 29:69
Guidance comes after striving, not before.
6. Relevant Usul Principles
اليقين لا يزول بالشك
Certainty is not removed by doubt.
Your certainty of faith is not removed by passing thoughts.
ما لا يُقصد لا يُؤاخذ به
What is not intended is not held accountable.
You are not sinful for what you did not choose.
Final Ruling
You are not sinful for intrusive thoughts that come to your mind during prayer or Qur’an, nor are you being punished by Allah for them.
These thoughts are whispers that Allah has explicitly forgiven, and your distress over them is a sign of living faith, not its absence.
Your duty is not to silence the thoughts, but to continue turning to Allah despite them. Do not abandon prayer, do not despair, and do not measure your relationship with Allah by emotions.
He is closer to you than you think, and He is more merciful to you than you are to yourself.
And Allah knows best.