Is It Permissible to Temporarily Block One’s Mother for Mental Relief?
Question
I have moved out from my house some months ago. Since then, my mother has called me multiple times a day. Her talks are unpleasant, she nags, complains, and belittles me. Is it permissible to block her for a few days for my own mental sanity? I don’t explicitly hate her, but I wish to take a break from such negativity, especially with how much I already have on my plate.
Answer
Alhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillah, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma‘in.
Islam places the utmost importance on the rights of parents, especially the mother, whose sacrifices and emotional investment are unmatched. Allah says:
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the final destination.”
(Luqman 31:14)
However, the Shari‘ah also recognizes human limitation and psychological strain. Islam calls for birr al-walidayn (dutifulness) but does not demand enduring harm or mental breakdown in the process. The balance lies in maintaining respect, minimizing harm, and never cutting the bond of kinship.
1. The Obligation of Respect, Not Constant Availability
Maintaining contact with one’s parents is wajib (obligatory), but constant communication is not.
What is obligatory is that you do not sever the relationship, show rudeness, or express anger toward them.
Allah says:
“Do not say to them even ‘uff’ (a word of irritation), nor repel them, but speak to them a noble word.”
(Al-Isra 17:23)
Thus, respect and gentleness must always remain, even when creating distance.
2. Seeking Emotional Space
If a parent’s behavior becomes emotionally harmful or mentally exhausting, it is permissible to limit contact — as long as the intent is to preserve peace, not to sever ties.
The usuli principle applies:
الضرر يزال — “Harm must be removed.”
This includes both physical and emotional harm.
In such cases, it is allowed to reduce contact, postpone responses, or even mute or block calls temporarily, provided that:
- You continue making du‘a for her,
- You keep some channel of contact (even through messages or a relative),
- And your heart remains respectful, not resentful.
3. Practical Guidance
- Inform her gently (if possible) that you are busy or overwhelmed, so she does not feel abandoned.
- Use intermediaries — another sibling or relative — to reassure her that you are well.
- Resume communication when emotions settle, even briefly or in writing.
- Continue making du‘a for her and seeking her forgiveness.
Final Ruling
It is not permissible to sever ties or permanently block your mother.
However, if her constant communication causes significant mental distress, it is permissible to limit or temporarily block calls to preserve your well-being — as long as you maintain inner respect, avoid anger, and intend reconciliation.
Do not cut her off completely, and return to communication once calm is restored.
And Allah knows best.